This past week… I left the house. After 14 long months I ventured outside and went up to South Lake Tahoe for a few days.

On this trip I learned two things. First, if you spend more than a year almost exclusively indoors then sit in the sun at an altitude of about 6,600 feet, you get a sunburn. Even if you wear sunscreen it’s not gonna help. However much sunscreen you think you need, double the amount and the SPF.

Really, that’s the key lesson of my trip. Learn from my pain.

The second thing I learned was on the drive back. I lost satellite radio signal on account of all the mountains, and I remembered that there was a CD in the stereo. Apparently, in 2010, when the car was new, I made a digital mixtape of songs designed to keep me awake, should it be necessary.

What was my taste in music like in 2010? [Gokhman note: It’s the same stuff he listens to now]. What sort of thing would I listen to when I didn’t want to fall asleep in my 20s? Is it embarrassing? Stay tuned to find out!

Rage Against the Machine — “Bombtrack”

OK, good start. Props to Past Me on this one. Rage is pretty great. Now, I’d probably open with “Killing in the Name,” since that’s one of the best songs of all time, but if the band started its first album with it, then I guess that’s all right.

As far as keeping me awake? Weirdly, it did not do that. The hard, steady rhythm is actually fairly hypnotic. I found myself zoning out a bit, which is not advisable when driving down a mountain with a pretty bad sunburn. Have I mentioned the sunburn?

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Beck — “E-Pro”

O… K.

This is the second song on this CD. And it’s a good song, don’t get me wrong, but in retrospect this probably wouldn’t be right up front ahead of, say, the entire Metallica discography or anything by the Offspring or, like, most other songs ever written.

Also? Same problem as the last one. Hypnotic rhythm. Counterproductive to staying focused. Just generally unideal.

AC/DC — “Shoot to Thrill”

The third song is “Fuel” and if I add many more Metallica songs to this column our illustrious editor Roman Gokhman may drive over to my house and hit me with a shovel, so let’s skip ahead to AC/DC. [Gokhman note: The RIFF team is actually having a get-together today, so let me pause to pack the shovel. Willis is safe until afterward, however, since he’s picking up the tab for everyone].

AC/DC is more like it.

The whole mixtape could have just been AC/DC and it would work fantastically for its purpose. There’s really nothing AC/DC’s music can’t do. It can wake you up when you’re driving. It can help you sleep if you have insomnia. It can cure disease. It can do lots of stuff. I briefly forgot about my sunburn! But only briefly.

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The Offspring — “The Meaning of Life”

We’re skipping ahead again because the next two are “Killing in the Name” which, you know, finally, and next is “Party Hard” which, similar to the Metallica situation, Gokhman may cut me if I add Andrew WK to yet another column.

Anyway, so… look. This is a good song, and the Offspring is the perfect band for staying awake and alert on a long drive. But this is the song I picked in 2010? This? “All I Want,” the best driving song ever, is an Offspring song. “Bad Habit” is a song literally about road rage! And yet Past Danny picked this one. At least it’s not embarrassing yet.

Good Charlotte — “The Anthem”

Oh come on.

Come on. If you count the perceived length of 2020, I made this mixtape about 75 years ago. It was a different time and I was a very different person. I was in my 20s, young and carefree, even stupider than I am now. And even with that understanding—the understanding that I was, astoundingly, even dumber than I am now—I’m shocked and ashamed I put this song on a CD on purpose.

What was I thinking.

Honestly, I absolutely deserved this sunburn. I earned it. This is penance for my pop-punk sins.

[Gokhman note: Since we’re talking about age and maturity and whatnot, I just turned 40. Last week. And it’s weird… I still think of myself in my teens and I definitely don’t look it and I don’t know what any of that means. Anyway; I don’t have my own column so I’m hijacking this one. After being prompted, the RIFF staff did their duty. Five other people remembered it was my birthday. Five. And I haven’t had a place to scream about it, so here it is, right after four paragraphs about Good Charlotte, thereby meaning that I’m still screaming into the void because surely you quit after the second paragraph. Time to try some meditative breathing].

Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.