When this column is published it will be the morning after Metallica’s first 40th anniversary show at the Chase Center. As of the time of this writing I am scheduled to cover it for this very site. That means when you’re reading this on Saturday, I’ll either be sleeping until my ears stop ringing and our illustrious editor Roman Gokhman will have probably put a link to the review somewhere, or it fell through and I’m in the fetal position under a table openly weeping.

It’s all very exciting. But what’s more exciting is that for the first time since I started writing this column at the beginning of 2018, I have an excuse to do an all-Metallica column!

I’m pretty much obsessed with Metallica. It’s in my bio at the bottom of this and every article I write. I include them whenever I can justify it and many times I can’t. But finally, because  they’re having a whole celebratory week of events in San Francisco, I can just list five Metallica songs. I am thrilled.

So, finally, it’s my great pleasure to celebrate Metallica’s 40 years as a band with one song from each decade in which they’ve existed.

Metallica — “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”

This is not my favorite Metallica song of the ’80s. That honor obviously goes to “One,” which is inarguably the best song of all time. I will die on this hill so don’t bother trying to fight me on this. It’ll just waste time. But there are a couple reasons I had to go with another choice.

First, I’ve included “One” in my column several times already, and even I know when enough’s enough. There are so many great Metallica songs that it seems unfair to just focus on the one. Gotta spread the love! (OK, granted, I included “Sanitarium” already, too, but I’ve included a lot of Metallica songs. It’s not easy to find a new one.)

Second, and most importantly, if I skip to …And Justice For All, it means I’ll go the whole list without Cliff Burton appearing, and that’s just a travesty. You can’t honor Metallica without honoring Cliff. In fact, listen to “(Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth” too. It is not optional.

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Metallica — “Low Man’s Lyric”

In the ’90s, the Black Album was definitely the headline. Load and Reload sold well but aren’t exactly universally loved. So why did I pick a deep cut off Reload rather than, say, “The Memory Remains” or something? Because it’s my column and there’s a personal connection.

I told the whole story in my column about the best songs from 1997, but the short version is because Reload was the first Metallica album I ever heard, at a friend’s birthday party shortly after it came out. I was completely entranced to the point it got weird. A much cooler friend noticed me listening with rapt attention and told me, “Man, if you like this, you’ve gotta hear their older stuff.” He gave me a cassette copy of Master of Puppets (we still pirated music before Napster, Lars) and I was hooked.

And of the songs on Reload, I think “Low Man’s Lyric” is criminally underrated.

Metallica — “All Nightmare Long”

Of the two albums the band released in the ’00s, one is St. Anger. I will not be including a song from St. Anger because it’s not only the worst Metallica album, but one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard. I’m sorry, guys, but it’s garbage and you know it. As my friend Jim informed me, even Hetfield knows we hate it. It’s just not good.

That leaves Death Magnetic, which is pretty good! Refreshingly good after the trainwreck that preceded it. Not the best, but a solid album that I enjoy. And since I already used “Cyanide,” my favorite live song off the album, I’ll go with “All Nightmare Long” because it’s also great and it has an awesome video. It has Soviet zombies.

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Metallica — “Moth Into Flame”

In the ’10s, Metallica only released one album, the slackers. Fortunately, it was a good album so I can’t really hold it against them. And, I mean, I’d rather just have one good album than a good album and a St. Anger.

Sorry, guys. It was that bad.

“Hardwired” really is the perfect song for 2016 because of the chorus, because it was so, so true, and would only get more true in the years since. But I haven’t really included a truly heavy song on here yet. “Moth Into Flame” is pretty heavy, especially the live version but, the album version is pretty good, too.

Metallica — “Blackened 2020”

The ’20s are kinda narrowed down for me because Metallica has released exactly one song so far. Fortunately it’s fantastic.

Let’s begin with Papa Het going full Cool Grandpa at the beginning, popping on his glasses and doing the old-man-trying-to-read thing, then just absolutely crushing it. Then there’s Robert Trujillo jamming out on the bass in front of a rack of clothes for some reason, and he still owns it. Kirk Hammett is exactly as cool as he always is. Lars Ulrich’s facial expressions suggest that he’s multitasking by drumming while also relieving himself.

Finally, the song itself is just great. It really is. It takes an incredible amount of talent to take a thrash metal song from 1988 and rearrange it into a genuinely beautiful acoustic song 32 years later. Also, listening to them back to back really highlights how much better Hetfield’s voice is.

Please, guys, give us a new album. The world needs this.

Man, do I ever love Metallica.

Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.