Often I struggle to come up with a column idea. This week is easy because I can think about one and only one thing right now: Tomorrow’s Super Bowl.

I’m a lifelong 49ers fan, you see, and they’ve only won one Super Bowl that I was old enough to retain a memory of—in 1989 I was 7, but in 1994 I was 12. I am currently 41. It has been a while.

They have appeared in two Super Bowls since then, of course. In 2012 they got embarrassed by the Ravens, and in 2019 they blew a 10 point lead to Kansas City in the 4th quarter. They were both painful in very different but similarly severe ways.

This year, though? This year they might have a chance. Their defense isn’t what it has been, since Nick Bosa forgot how to shed a block and the secondary occasionally just doesn’t cover anyone, but Kansas City has the weakest roster they’ve had in the Mahomes era, so if Bosa rediscovers pass rushing and Chase Young decides to be motivated, I may finally get a replacement 49ers Super Bowl Champions shirt. I still have my last one, but I don’t fit in a children’s large.

I opened the season with a column about jock jams, so it only makes sense to bookend the season with another. Last time there was a rough chronological theme, but this time it’s songs that get me hyped up. I will be listening to them on loop.

Go Niners.

Pennywise — “Bro Hymn”

I’ll admit this is an unconventional choice. It’s about the deaths of three of bassist Jason Thirk’s friends. It’s not exactly in the heavy stadium rotation. But I have heard it at a basketball game and anything by Pennywise is a good time, so I’m counting it.

I mean seriously, that bass line. That riff in the chorus! Amazing song. Definitely a run-through-a-brick-wall song. I’ve listened to it two times while writing this entry. I’m going to listen to it one more time before moving on.

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DMX — “Party Up”

I do not need to give you the jock jam credentials for “Party Up,” but I will anyway: It’s played after every Eagles touchdown and after every Mariners and Dodgers home run.

My only complaint is that his official YouTube page only seems to have the radio edit, which sounds like he’s rapping on his cell phone while driving through a tunnel. You get two audible words, two missing words, a sound effect over half a word, another missing word, maybe a couple audible conjunctions, another sound effect… it’s kinda absurd. There comes a point where it’s not even a song anymore. Just refuse to release a clean version and let the radio stations figure it out.

House of Pain — “Jump Around”

I have two items of House of Pain trivia, not counting “did you know they’re a bunch of white guys who are super aggressive about being Irish even though one of them is Latvian,” so hopefully at least one of them is interesting.

First, remember “What It’s Like” by Everlast? It was inescapable in the late ’90s and early ’00s. Everlast is one of the three members of House of Pain! After the group broke up in 1996, he made another attempt at a solo career and it was significantly more successful.

Second, another member of the group is DJ Lethal, the aforementioned Latvian cosplaying as Irish. As you may assume by the name, he handled the turntables. Well, after the 1996 breakup, he jumped to—of all bands—Limp Bizkit, and they got signed shortly thereafter. So… thanks, I guess?

The third member, Danny Boy, is on the Tulsa Arts Commission and is executive director of a museum in the house from Francis Ford Coppola’s 1983 adaptation of “The Outsiders.” I am not making that up.

Darude — “Sandstorm”

I unironically love “Sandstorm,” which is apparently no longer an embarrassing statement.

Back when it was originally popular in 1999, it was embarrassing for anyone not into techno, because it was such a ridiculously distilled representation of the genre. Then for about 15 to 20 years, it was embarrassing because it was incredibly dated. Now, I would say justifiably, it’s had a resurgence in popularity.

My personal favorite result of that popularity? Orchestral performances of the song. I’m not kidding; they’re amazing. I would pay a lot of money to witness it in person. Just listen to it and tell me it’s not fantastic. You can’t.

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Beastie Boys — “Sabotage”

Finally, it’s the Beastie Boys.

“No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn” is a classic. “So What’cha Want” works. I like “Intergalactic,” but it’s by no means a jock jam. That said, there’s no get-hyped riff quite like “Sabotage.”

Now, I try not to have a heart attack or hyperventilate before tomorrow. These songs, and others like them, will certainly help, but I am experiencing stress. Go Niners. If they don’t win, don’t mention football to me at all for about a month. And if they do win, expect me to be insufferable for quite a while.

Follow publisher Daniel J. Willis and send column ideas to him at @bayareadata.press on BlueSky.