My Bloody Valentine, courtesy.

Welcome to what’s apparently the third annual St. Patrick’s Day list of Irish bands in which I specifically and intentionally don’t include U2!

For those just joining us, our illustrious editor Roman Gokhman is a U2 fan in the same sense that Stan was an Eminem fan, and since the beginning of time, journalists have enjoyed giving their editors a hard time. I’m assuming, anyway. We don’t really have records of journalism at the dawn of time, probably because reporters hate writing about themselves for some reason and, I mean, who else would document it?

But I digress.

For an island that can fit entirely in Utah with room to spare, Ireland has a surprisingly long list of great acts that aren’t U2. Even after the five from 2022, I can easily think of five more! These, specifically.

B*Witched — “C’est la Vie”

In 2006, the Spice Girls became global megastars with aggressively catchy pop classic “Wannabe.” Since record company executives think the only way to be creatively successful is to aggressively rip off anything that’s already popular, we got more U.K. girl groups than we knew what to do with. The Honeyz, for example, hit the scene in 1997 and were roughly as good as their name. Atomic Kitten in 1998 was basically a surrogate for a guy named Andy who used to be in a new wave group.

Of that wave of attempts to recapture the spice magic, the best was Ireland’s maliciously catchy B*Witched. I hate the name, though. It’s like *NSync but worse.

Also, be glad I included this rather than Boyzone.

The Dubliners — “Whiskey in the Jar”

It really doesn’t get more Irish than The Dubliners. First off, they’re called The Dubliners. Second, one of their members was named Ciarán and played the tin whistle. And third, their biggest hit in the U.S. was a version of the traditional Irish song “Whiskey in the Jar.”

I really enjoy the Dubliners, but rather than ramble about them, I’m gonna ramble about the song. It says a lot about Ireland that one of its traditional standards is about a guy going to prison for shooting the husband of the woman with whom he’s sleeping, and honestly everything it says is good.

While I can’t find the article where I read it, I’ve heard the Thin Lizzy version was inspired by The Dubliners’ version. Later, Metallica’s version was inspired by Thin Lizzy’s version. So that’s how I’m working Metallica into this column.

Skid Row — “Night of the Warm Witch”

This Skid Row is not the Skid Row you’re probably thinking of.

There’s a hair metal band fronted by Sebastian Bach called Skid Row, which is a lot more well-known here than the Irish blues rock band Skid Row. As much as I love hair metal, it’s kind of a shame; Irish Skid Row guitarist Gary Moore is incredibly good. I accidentally found Irish Skid Row when looking for hair metal Skid Row, and I’m pretty pleased about the accident.

But how did both bands have the same name, something which is generally frowned upon? Hair metal Skid Row’s story is that Jon Bon Jovi, who co-owns their publishing rights, bought the name from Moore for $35,000, which is the equivalent of about $97,000 today. Irish Skid Row’s story… well, Moore went on to release an album called Bon Jovi Never Rang Me, so there’s a bit of a conflict there.

Snow Patrol — “Chasing Cars”

First off, this band was formed in Scotland. I’m gonna be upfront about that. But all three founders were from Northern Ireland, and for the life of the band, six of the eight members were from Northern Ireland, with only two from Scotland. So I’m calling them Irish.

Also, yes, I’m calling Northern Ireland part of Ireland. The island counts, not the nation. Plus according to Lt. Cmdr. Data, the Irish Unification is coming sometime this year.

Anyway, I’m not sure what the genre is officially, but in my head Snow Patrol’s genre is basically “The ’00s.” It just totally encapsulates the decade for me. That’s not necessarily good; I’m not a huge fan of that whole scene. But this is one of the better examples.

My Bloody Valentine — “Only Shallow”

Speaking of genres I don’t like, I don’t particularly dig shoegaze, which My Bloody Valentine helped establish. But its last album before things started to go sideways, 1991’s Loveless, is really good! It feels like the ’90s and I, being old, am stuck in the ’90s.

One reason it feels so much like the decade is because it inspired most of it. Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead and other foundational bands cite Loveless as an inspiration. And I can hear every one of those bands in this song, in the same sense I can hear half a dozen genres that didn’t exist yet in The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper. And if that doesn’t get a band on the list, I don’t know what would.

Follow publisher Daniel J. Willis and send column ideas to him at @bayareadata.press on BlueSky.