Back in May, rather than covering uplifting songs about how important mothers are, my Mother’s Day column consisted of songs that you should not play at your mom’s party. Since I am fair, it’s time for fathers to get their time.

I’m not sure whether this speaks to fathers in general or musicians’ fathers specifically, but it was a lot easier to find songs about terrible dads. Like… so much easier. I know men are the worst, but I didn’t realize we were that bad. So, a note to the men out there with kids, make an extra effort to not be a jerk. As good as these songs are, you don’t want to be their subject. Jagged Little Pill is a great album but I’m not sure Uncle Joey from “Full House” has the same opinion, you know?

Anyway, here are some songs about dads who probably aren’t getting a card tomorrow.

Harry Chapin — “Cat’s in the Cradle”

I’m confident in saying that this is the best and most famous song about a bad dad, which is especially impressive because it’s the only one written from the father’s perspective.

Spoiler alert, but the rest of these are all about bad fathers from the perspective of aggrieved children. And that makes sense. Nothing is universal, but there doesn’t seem to be a ton of bad fathers who know and regret it enough to write and record a song. Not to say none come to their senses.

You may think the father in this song isn’t so bad. His kid idolizes him! He puts food on the table! But remember, it’s from his perspective. Of course he’s the hero of his story, who just made a mistake because he tried too hard or whatever. Imagine the song the son would write about his dad who was never around and never wanted to spend time with him, then suddenly started asking for a lot of time when he retired. I’m sure there’s bitterness!

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Everclear — “Father of Mine”

[Gokhman note: I would have started with this one. For kids who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s, this was the bad dad song]. I try to stick to the deep cuts but the two pieces of low-hanging fruit are so good I might as well just get to them.

Art Alexakis, frontman of Everclear, did not have a great upbringing. I haven’t asked him or done any research on the subject but, considering pretty much every Everclear song I know is about being poor and fatherless in the ’70s, I can make some assumptions.

This one specifically is basically just a list of bad things his absentee father did. He left the family fairly young and wasn’t involved in Alexakis’ life, as the lyrics pretty clearly explain, and thanks to this song becoming a hit, all his dad’s friends knew that. I’m telling you guys, your kid might become a musician, do your best.

The Beach Boys — “I’m Bugged At My Old Man”

This isn’t a great song, but it fits the theme. In fact, the title undersells the content, since the titular old man locks the narrator in his room, refuses to feed him and goes so far as to nail boards over the windows to keep him in and block the light. I’d be bugged by flagrant child abuse, too!

I’m honestly not sure if this is a strictly true story, but it was written shortly after the band fired their father (or uncle in Mike Love’s case) Murry Wilson. Murray was notoriously cruel to everyone, especially his sons. I’m talking full-blown physical abuse, including reportedly hitting Brian Wilson in the head with a 2-by-4 so hard it caused hearing loss. It’s not out of the question that these are true stories.

Like I said, the brothers (and cousin) did eventually fire him as their producer and manager. By all accounts, it absolutely crushed Murray. In his eyes, he’d given up his career for his sons’ band and deserved to share in the fame. But in the end you reap what you sow.

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2Pac — “Papa’z Song”

Despite being a Tupac devotee, I don’t know who this song is about. There are two obvious choices.

The first is biological father Billy Garland, who was in the Black Panthers with his mother. Shakur only met him later in life while Garland was in jail. He was obviously never around, so it fits the lyrics. Shakur’s mother was also married to another guy when she got pregnant with Garland’s baby, so he had a reason not to be around. That would explain the regret the father in the song shows. It’s a solid choice.

Alternately, Tupac could be talking about Lumumba Shakur, his mother’s husband at the time of his birth. They were married in 1968 and Tupac was born in 1971, then they got divorced when Lumumba found out Tupac wasn’t his biological son, but I’m not sure when. Was Lumumba around long enough for Tupac to remember him leaving? That would make him another prime candidate.

Unfortunately, we can’t ask Tupac, the best lyricist of the 20th century, and I will die on that hill, because Puff Daddy had him killed.

The Temptations — “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone”

This is one of the all-time “did you know that song was about…” songs: Did you know this song is about a grifter father who had a secret second family?

I’m honestly not sure if this about a real person or was just songwriters Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong telling a compelling story. Either way, it definitely isn’t about the singer’s father because it wasn’t even originally a Temptations song. Whitfield originally gave it to a different Motown group called The Undisputed Truth, but it flopped so he reworked an 11-minute, 44-second version for the Temptations, and that one stuck. It became an all-time classic, in fact.

Either way, man, it’s a heck of a story. Papa was both a rollin’ stone and a pretty terrible dude.

Follow publisher Daniel J. Willis and send column ideas to him at @bayareadata.press on BlueSky.