In case you’ve been living in a cave, outside all radio and cell reception, or watching Fox News: For the third time in American history there’s an impeachment trial happening in the Senate.
The problem, as with most things, is that it doesn’t come with a soundtrack. CSPAN needs someone to score it, or at minimum an official staff DJ. So in lieu of that, please enjoy these impeachment-appropriate songs to get you in the mood.
The Honey Drippers — “Impeach the President”
This one is about the impeachment of Richard Nixon, which is ironic since he was never actually impeached. He saw the writing on the wall and quit before the House voted. Which sounds nice, doesn’t it? Our long national nightmare being over? Man, dare to dream.
Anyway, it’s a good song that’s been sampled by basically every musician since, and it’s weirdly appropriate to the present day. Which is sad, if you think about it. You’d hope we’d have progressed as a society in 50 years, but here we are.
Neil Young — “Let’s Impeach the President”
This one is encouraging the impeachment of George W. Bush, who also famously wasn’t impeached. He also didn’t quit. At the time it was terrible, but in retrospect it was still terrible, it just wasn’t a constant parade of unspeakable horrors from which there was no escape.
Ever wonder if we’d be where we are now if Bush was impeached? Even if he wasn’t removed, if there was just some level of accountability for lying about the Iraq invasion.
Fiona Apple — “Tiny Hands”
Let’s move on to Trump songs.
There’s not a lot for some reason, but the ones that exist aren’t bad. This one is a good if simplistic protest song written for the Women’s March in 2017, which unfortunately didn’t do any good whatsoever because nobody in politics cares about public sentiment anymore.
Also, Fiona Apple is cool.
CocoRosie — “Smoke ‘Em Out”
Posted shortly after the inauguration… you know what, I’ll just use part of the description from that video’s YouTube page:
“‘Smoke ‘em Out’ welcomes the new character who will be occupying the White House with a mob of women and children armed with forks and knives. In the wake of this unnatural disaster, we feel a call to rise, shout, and burn the house down. The future is female.”
YG and Nipsey Hussle — “FDT”
Finally, the defining song of our era. The song that says what we’re all thinking. It’s just not a list of impeachment songs without this classic.
Some may say it’s vulgar and inelegant, but you know what? That’s what these times need. Look where elegance has gotten us; we need to say what we mean and mean what we say. And nobody can say this song dances around the issue.
Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.