Editor’s note: The last time Violet Mayugba of the Bay Area’s Destroy Boys checked in with us, nearly a year ago, she (like everyone) was trying to adjust to the pandemic lifestyle. The music the band released back then strangely fit the newly uncertain times, even if it was originally written about a toxic relationship. Destroy Boys returned with new music earlier this month in the form of “Muzzle,” a song that on one side is deals with Mayugba’s personal anxiety… at a time when anxiety is seeming at an all-time for millions… even though the song began right before the pandemic as an idea about a relationship that had left the singer-songwriter soured.
I started brainstorming the idea of “Muzzle” one morning in January 2020 before I went to work. The thing with this song is that it’s about, like, three different things. I wrote the verse that morning while making breakfast. I drove to my job all worked up and motivated to write a super short, repetitive and fucked-up bruiser song. A lot of the songs the band and I had been writing were more dynamic and less straight-up punk, so I decided to express my rage through some classic four-chord stuff.
The chorus is about being tossed around by a guy who just could not make his mind up about me. I had pretty recently cut off contact, but I was broken up and angry as hell. The verses are about being frustrated with not being able to control how people see me, which is a struggle I feel like a lot of other young people may relate to. As the band was starting to grow, more and more people started to form opinions about me, which is terrifying—even when they are positive opinion. I had just turned 20 and I was in no way a fully formed person. It connected to my very present fear of being perceived and misunderstood.
I felt like thousands of people were seeing me through their screens, or at my job, or at a show, but not knowing me for who I really am. I look pissed or absent a lot of the time when I am actually just highly anxious. That’s the problem with people making assumptions. You never really know exactly what’s going on. Luckily, I channel my fears and anxieties into music. I feel lucky to be in a position where the band is doing enough for me to be seen at all. This song is half about the feeling of wanting to run away and hide from all eyes. The other half is about wanting to punch a guy I was in love with, but that’s classic Destroy Boys song content. :+)