Editor’s note: Finnegan Bell of L.A. band Love Ghost wrote the band’s new song, “I’ll be ‘Fine,'” a year ago, but decided to release it in May; Mental Health Awareness Month. Bell (guitar and lead vocals), bassist Ryan Stevens, drummer Samson Young, guitarist Daniel Alcala and keyboardist Cory Batchler recently graduated from high school and the buzz around Love Ghost has been brewing in their hometown. In 2019 they toured in Europe and Japan and have been compared to the likes of Tungblud, Grandson and Lil Peep. “I’ll be ‘Fine'” was produced by Danny Saber (The Rolling Stones, Alice Cooper, the Charlatans, Public Enemy) and will be included on Love Ghost’s debut EP, which will be released this fall.
Growing up I had some fucked-up shit happen to me. It made me withdraw from social situations and very distrustful of people. I felt like everyone hated me. I would act out in school, sometimes I would get kicked out, sometimes I would just dip. I went to three different middle schools. For a long time, I felt worthless, alone and unloved. My mental health had deteriorated to the point where various addictions were making my life unmanageable. As I grew up, lots of people had—some still have—misconceptions about me. That’s fine, because, I was always able to express myself through writing music. My mom told me that music saved my life, I hope that the music that I write is able to save someone else’s life. All of this and my objective to help others led me to writing I’ll be “Fine.”
The funny thing is that I actually wrote this song over a year before it came out. We’ve just been sitting on it. I wrote and recorded it in a span of five hours at my producer Danny Saber’s house. I wanted this song to express what my depression feels like. I wanted people suffering from mental health issues to listen to this song and feel they are not alone. I wanted to give a voice to the voiceless, and I wanted to help as many people struggling with depression as possible.
There is a lot of pain in this world, and there is a need for change. I’m a super positive person, but I’m really sensitive. I’m also a l’il fucked-up in my brain, like I’m chemically imbalanced. This song is basically that internal dialog you have when you have no one to talk to, and the only person to tell you that you’ll get through this is yourself.
It’s about depression, but it’s also about isolation and alienation. I felt extremely alienated when I was growing up, but I also know that most people feel that way so it’s all Gucci.
Everyone’s mental health has been affected during this pandemic, which is one reason that this song has been getting so much love. I’m not only eternally grateful, but I’m also very humbled to know that millions of people feel the exact same way I do. It just goes to show you how deep depression is ingrained in society and human interactions. Shit; it might even go deeper than that—it might be the universe, life and existence as a whole.
I’ve always made rock music, but I listen to a lot of hip-hop and trap. This song was a mix of the two. We like to call “I’ll be ‘fine’” trap rock. This song was my first attempt at mixing the two genres and it really came together naturally and flowed well. I felt really confident in this song. I played it for those closest to me, and I got a lot of love from them. Such as during senior year, I would play it for friends and they’d be like “holy shit, this is gonna blow up.”
When we released this song, the pandemic had so many people feeling depressed, alienated and lonely. It was easy to relate to for a lot of people, so they started sharing it, especially on YouTube and SoundCloud. I’m really grateful that the song seems to have struck a chord with so many people.