You would have to poison Tony Hicks to get him to say he’s never watched “Game of Thrones.”

Sometimes the absence of a thing is a real positive. For example, I should never own a gun and a cat at the same time. I don’t have to react to my probably rabies-infested cat and instead shoot myself to know the absence of weapons in my home is really a good thing for me, the cat, my neighbors, my kids and my conscience.

What I’m not getting, however, is all these social media threads on InstaFaceTwit from people bragging they’ve never watched a certain show or movie. What’s really insane is people bragging – now that HBO is airing “Game of Thrones” prequel “House of the Dragon” – about never having watched “Game of Thrones.”

Your loss and I’m sorry for you. But don’t be stupid.

Even more fascinating is how these “GOT” threads are encouraging people to step forward and say they’ve never watched “Lord of the Rings,” now that Amazon is resurrecting that one next month with “Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.” People are ripping it before it’s even started.

Is there something about fantasy worlds where unshowered people who talk funny, swing swords and do their hair like they’re in a Winger video that’s offensive or something?

I saw Peter Jackson limp back to the well with “The Hobbit” trilogy, which was entirely and sadly forgettable after the first three LOTR movies. But at least I know that because I tried it. Yes, I would like those 231 hours of my life back. Sleep would’ve been better. But guess what? You can’t look down your nose at something unless you try it.

How would I know not to listen to any post-1991 Red Hot Chili Peppers unless I actually put myself through it a few times?

How can you tell something is awful unless you try it? And, even if it is awful, maybe it can teach you something. Maybe you like that sort of thing.

Some time ago, when I was insane and thought I should be married, there was a show that featured, from what I remember, Lorenzo Lamas aiming a laser pointer at women in bikinis and telling them their flawless bodies were, in fact, fat.

“Are You Hot?” was the show. It was literally showcasing the worst aspects of human nature just short of allowing the judges to kill contestants. It was the most awful, mean-spirted, wretched example of how not to treat other human beings outside a Republican National Convention that I’ve ever seen.

Yet, like watching a terrible, out of control forest fire, my then-wife and I couldn’t turn away. We loved it. Had a network executive not realized they were destroying humanity and canceled it, I might still be married.

Well … no. That’s not true. But she later decided moving to Florida was a good idea and I can’t help thinking maybe Lorenzo Lamas and his laser pointer had something to do with it.

What I really love is all the social media still crying over the Kardashians, who everyone seems to hate, but have – for some reason – remained on television for 57 years.

Of course it’s terrible. Nobody gets smart points for hating the Kardashians. But you get to say such things if you’ve actually watched them, which I have (I had another wife).

I‘m not saying you have to watch every obvious bad thing on television. Obviously, that would kill you. I’m not driving off cliffs to find out driving off cliffs is bad for me. But I’m not bragging about it, either.

Actually, it can be fun. For example, those of us who rightfully think “2 Broke Girls” represented the low-water mark point for all human culture, can confidently say so. [Editor’s note: Respectfully disagree. Great show. Give it a shot].

Like the day a doctor treated my double ear infection by lancing my ears when I was a child, I remember that day well. I was at my mom’s when the broke girls appeared on the television (my mom has since discovered this whole futuristic “streaming” thing, so it wasn’t her fault.). At some point, I ran out of food to eat or shoes to tie or something and watched a couple minutes.

Have you ever had the dream where you’re falling and suddenly wake up with the suddenness of being hit in the face with a frying pan? Yeah … it was like that.

We learn by doing, and the agony of those three or four minutes made me realize, as much as  liked to look at the actresses on “2 Broke Girls,” the fact is it was soul-polluting.

I would go on about how our country’s trapped in this Trumpian terror-fantasy in which adults believe vaccinations are conspiracies spawned by dead Venezuelan dictators building fraudulent voting machines while controlling child abduction rings in the basements of Washington, D.C. pizza parlors. But why dwell on it? Go watch some HBO and let’s talk afterward.

Follow music critic Tony Hicks at Twitter.com/TonyBaloney1967.