Liam Payne photographed in London on June 8, 2023. Photo: Annabel’s.

It’s shameful we can’t express how we feel about people until they’re not around to hear it.

Rendering: Adam Pardee/STAFF.

I know; if people start doing that all randomly, everyone would start freaking out. But it’s a nice thought. More honesty may have kept Liam Payne alive, instead of his contemporaries, family and friends inundating us with tributes since the 31-year-old former One Direction singer died Thursday.

I don’t mean typical blithering fan worship, the idea of which gets weirder as I get older (says the guy who pre-ordered the Alex Van Halen book and has cleared his schedule to start reading the millisecond it arrives).

I mean people who knew Payne, just telling him he genuinely matters to them, whether he’s wealthy and famous or not. Or reacting to his pain and trying to help. Or just being overtly pushy and trying to get him back into rehab.

Whatever it takes … that has to be the mantra when dealing with an addict you love.

I’m not criticizing tributes, which are probably therapeutic for the ones still here. Payne meant a lot to a big chunk to a generation now in their 20s and 30s, and that’s worth recognizing.

But post-death love-talk is cheap. The person who needs it most is dead.

As a guy who knows firsthand, there’s only so much you can do for someone being strangled by chemicals, which was reportedly the case with Payne. But sometimes just trying means everything to the person struggling.

I needed help and got it, with people who loved me pushing me. Some others I thought loved me ran the other direction for their own reasons. I can’t judge. Addicts are terribly skilled at alienating every living thing within thousands of miles. Not everyone is equipped to successfully deal with someone climbing the walls without the Spider-Man suit.

But when the wall crawler is human again, he can’t help but remember who was there when it mattered. If Payne was still here, and someone successfully threaded that tiny needle and got him successful help, he’d be forever grateful. And alive … at least until the next time.

Fans hold a vigil to pay tribute to British singer Liam Payne in Bogota, Colombia on Oct. 18, 2024. Photo by Alejandro GONZALEZ / AFP.

It’s important to understand people taking refuge from their pain with chemicals frequently feel trapped, completely alone and without choices. It’s a walking nightmare on a loop, which anyone not living it usually doesn’t understand. That’s why addicted people have their own meetings. Because if regular people heard the stories without that context, they’d flee screaming.

Payne died after falling from a third-floor balcony of a Buenos Aires hotel. Hotel staff called police assistance shortly before Payne fell, according to an emergency services call obtained by a CNN affiliate. A hotel manager said a guest was “overwhelmed with drugs and alcohol” and that staff didn’t know “if the guest’s life is at risk.”

Photos of Payne’s hotel room released by police showed a smashed television and what appeared to be drugs.

Payne previously spoke openly about his struggles with substance use. He told “The Diary of a CEO” podcast in 2021 that he and his fellow One Direction members were often “locked in our rooms” due to their popularity, leading him to drink and “have a party for one – and that just seemed to carry on throughout many years of my life.”

In a 2019 interview with Britain’s Sky News, Payne said he felt “quite lucky to be here still, which is something I’ve never really shared with anyone.” He said he spent 100 days in rehab just last year.

It’s such a paradox. Only young stars get that kind of attention. Sometimes they’re superstars before their brains have fully developed. And most fully formed adults can’t handle strangers saying hello to them. Yet we all expect young stars to handle unbelievable pressure 99.9 percent of us will never come close to experiencing.

Leave it to Bruce Springsteen to put it in perspective. When asked about Payne’s death this week, the Boss told The Telegraph about addiction in the music business: “Young people don’t have the inner facility or the inner self yet to be able to protect themselves from a lot of the things that come with success and fame,” said the 75-year-old who’s been famous for a half century. “So they get lost in a lot of the difficult and often pain- inducing [things] … whether it’s drugs or alcohol, to take some off that pressure off.

“It’s a grift, man. That’s a part of the story that suckers some young people in, you know, but it’s that old story. Dying young; good for the record company, but what’s in it for you?”

Nothing for Liam Payne. Not anymore, and it’s difficult for anyone else to gauge whether it was worth it. But more people should’ve asked.