Insert Foot ready to make his move on Mickey Mouse.

My family still hasn’t decided how we’re going to celebrate “Mickey Mouse Escapes Disneyland Day.” We’re leaning toward driving a large featureless white van to Anaheim, and waiting for the big New Year’s Eve fireworks show to start so he can sneak out unnoticed.

Jan 1 is a big day. The mouse will be out in public domain for the first time. That means your 6-year-old can draw a picture of Mickey Mouse without Disney’s lawyers immediately scaling the drainpipe on the side of your house and setting fire to her picture. Now, you can legally harpoon those lawyers once they cross your property line.

Well … maybe in Florida.

The copyright covering Mickey Mouse—the original, black and white “Steamboat Willie” version of Mickey Mouse—enters public domain on Jan. 1. And what you do with Mickey, fortunately or unfortunately, is now up to you.

The emancipation of Mickey would’ve happened 20 years ago, if not for a man named Dan O’Neill who, according to Variety, in 1971 drew an underground comic book, “Air Pirates Funnies,” in which the American icon was depicted smuggling drugs and performing, er … “love” on Minnie Mouse.

It’s a scary world out there, Mickey.

Apparently as O’Neill had hoped, Disney sued him for copyright infringement. His defense was that it was legal parody. After an eight-year-court battle, he was smacked with a judgment he couldn’t pay, of course (Disneyland admission?). To stay out of the big house, O’Neil agreed never to draw Mickey Mouse again.

O’Neil, now 81, recently told Variety that if he draws Mickey ever again, he goes to jail and owes Uncle Walt a $190,000 fine.

So, basically Disneyland admission.

Copyright law is very confusing and I won’t try to explain or I’ll be forced to do math, which will immediately hospitalize me and I’ll miss Christmas. But Disney is so protective of its copyrights, it sued the Academy Awards for unauthorized use of a Snow White costume in its opening song and dance scene in 1989, during which someone dressed as Ms. White sang “Proud Mary” with Rob Lowe.

No, I’m not making that up. My eyes are still getting over me trying to gouge them out while simultaneously trying to burst my eardrums and screaming for it to stop. Disney showed incredible restraint in merely suing them. They should’ve demanded someone go to prison.

The emancipation of Mickey Mouse is probably a good and bad thing. The good part is that it’s open season on Mickey, the iconic cartoon character that around the world means so much more than just being in some 20th century cartoons that weren’t nearly as entertaining as what Chuck Jones and company was doing over at Warner Bros. I saw that because, if America had any sort of sense of humor, Foghorn Leghorn would be our revered national symbol. But it was Mickey, and maybe still is, who was a symbol of the United States around the world. That means he should be fair game if we believe in free expression and everyone’s right to give the good ol’ US of A the finger.

The bad part is potentially a lot of uncreative and angry people believing they’re being creative while mangling Mickey Mouse in overtly simple and dumb ways.

Winnie the Pooh’s copyright expired a few years ago and this year we got a slasher film  called  “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey.” Some of us older people who remember grandma reading “Winnie the Pooh” to us as children felt it was a bit upsetting.

Then again, I didn’t see it because I’m still too traumatized from the day I realized Winnie the Pooh walks around in a shirt without any pants.

Whatever happens, for America’s sake, I just hope Rob Lowe doesn’t get any more ideas. Otherwise, good luck Mickey.

Follow music critic Tony Hicks at Twitter.com/TonyBaloney1967.