Insert Foot vs. Ryan Adams and forgiveness. STAFF file photo.

Ryan Adams wants our forgiveness.

I want lots of things, being as talented as Ryan Adams would be a fine start.

Adams wants fans–the people who, for more than two decades, have paid his bills–to set aside years of him preying on women and being a supreme egomaniacal bully. Because no one wants to come within smelling distance of that kind of person in 2021.

Well … some people may want to, but it’s bad business. At least it still is in most civilized parts of the country.

Adams recently got on social media to announce he’s going broke, may lose his house, no one likes him, etc., now that his career has collapsed the past couple years. (He’s since deleted the post, but if you want to know how his last run went or see pictures of cats, those are still there).

I guess the strategy is to hope people feel sorry for him. That is a lot different than remorse … remorse for the behavior instead of remorse over getting caught.

In February 2019, a report surfaced alleging Adams had an ugly habit of sexual abuse and otherwise controlling women. Seven women made accusations, including his ex-wife, Mandy Moore, and singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers.

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about stereotypical rock star bad behavior about which one can usually argue only hurts the internal organs and overall reputation of that rock star. Nor are we talking about waking up next to fans whose name that rock star was too important to remember.

In Adams’ case, it was a prolonged pattern of serious abuse of people with whom he was supposed to have lasting personal or professional relationships. The kind of relationships meant to be founded on shared expectations of behavior.

Maybe you’re asking, “Who’s Ryan Adams and why should we care?”

Unfortunately, he’s a very talented guy, who at various time during his career has made very good music. That, as usual, sets up the problem.

It always comes down to whether the talent and work of an artist outweighs his bad behavior, stupid opinions and general lack of empathy for fellow Earth creatures.

How much is too much? It’s an old conversation we’re having more frequently, and it’s getting annoying–not because of the people rightfully complaining, but for the fans being put in this position.

Apologies for sounding insensitive to the victims who, of course, are the ones about whom we should care first and most. Fans being in a weird situation for a few minutes pales in comparison. We can just turn the dial, find something else to listen to, get a job … do something else without much trouble. I (now) typically avoid social media telling me too much. But being a public fan of someone who ends up doing and saying repulsive things is still annoying.

Back to the question: Should fans set the behavior aside? It’s a big question, and everyone’s answer is different. Most of us have done bad things, suffered consequences, legitimately seen the error of our former ways and got to work repairing things. That is a good way to work up the courage to try living again.

But some bridges get nuked beyond any possibility of replacement. Is Ryan Adams really sorry for past behavior, or is he only sorry we found out?

Ultimately, you can talk this to death (and I probably have). Because actions have the ultimate power of destroying words and intentions, they can help repair them again, at least to a degree. So I would say Ryan Adams’ ability to still own a home depends on his willingness to understand the problem, and prove he wants to fix it. Forced apologies aren’t worth the free social media on which they’re posted.

If I were Ryan Adams, I would get to work on my brain, privately and sincerely apologize when and where necessary, try making as much great, honest music as possible, and hope for the best. Replace ugliness with as much good as possible. He still might lose his house, but he’s wrong if he thinks sleeping in his mom’s basement is bottom. It usually lies at a lower level, waiting patiently to proverbially smack one’s head against deeper ground. Then survive with some sense knocked into you, get back to work and hope for the best.

It seems to work for a lot of us without so much talent. As a fan, I’d say it’s necessary.

Follow music critic Tony Hicks at Twitter.com/TonyBaloney1967.