A concertgoer at the Lands End stage at Outside Lands in San Francisco on Oct. 31, 2021. Adam Pardee/STAFF.

Once again, Outside Lands has come to an end. Usually that means it’s time to soak in a giant tub of aloe to treat the full-body sunburn while also drinking gallons upon gallons of water for the dehydration, this year it means Googling the best treatment for frostbite, but either way it’s a day of transition.

So join me, people across the gender spectrum, as we recap the best and worst of the day. Mostly the worst. There was a lot of worst.

Cannons perform at Outside Lands in San Francisco on Oct. 31, 2021.

Best: Cannons’ Halloween costumes. Ryan Clapham and Paul Davis of Cannons were dressed as KISS, and that was awesome. Davis especially made an uncannily good Gene Simmons. But the real reason this is the best is because singer Michelle Joy was dressed as Dazzler.

You don’t remember Dazzler because unlike certain people writing this column, you’re not the biggest nerd in the world. Dazzler was a member of the X-Men who could turn sound into light. She was created to cash in on the disco craze so, obviously, she mostly used her power to become a wildly popular disco singer. But the character was introduced in 1980 so she was immediately a joke.

Joy, unlike you, has heard of Dazzler. And she looked uncannily like the character. Which means Cannons’ set today was officially the most successful performance of Dazzler’s existence.

Worst: Listen, festival-goers, we’ve gotta have a talk. OK… we’ve gotta have an intervention. Your costumes were terrible.

We all had high hopes for this! A music festival in San Francisco on Halloween! It was supposed to be crazy and outlandish, something that would be talked about for years to come! And you… you let us all down.

Attendees at Outside Lands in San Francisco on Oct. 31, 2021.

There were a lot of bros recycling their lame banana costumes. That’s just sad. There were a lot of women in lingerie, which, look, I’m not complaining, but it’s not a costume. There were an unsettling number of Sexy Wednesday Addams costumes. You know the character is a teenager, right?

I respect the nerdery—there were more than a few Variant Loki costumes, and a healthy number of Scarlet Witch and Vision costumes from the respective Marvel shows on Disney+—but it just wasn’t what it could have been. If the festival ever falls on Halloween again (and we can only hope that it doesn’t, so we don’t lose any more toes) you need to be better.

Best: As much as I famously hate people, especially young people and especially in large numbers, even I’ll admit it was nice to have a taste of the Before Times.

I’ve been especially cautious and strict about pandemic precautions because, frankly, if I’m going down it’s going to be a way more exciting cause than some plague, so this was my first real excursion back into the real world. It was about as safe as it could possibly be, with strict vaccine or testing requirements and masks required for all indoor areas. And it wasn’t terrible.

Don’t get me wrong, by the middle of Sunday I was absolutely ready to go back into my house and watch Netflix again, but two and a half days is way more time than it usually takes to get to that point. In most years I get to that point before I even reach the front of the line to get in.

Attendees at Outside Lands in San Francisco on Oct. 30, 2021.

Worst: That said, to repeat a complaint from the Friday/Saturday edition, what in the world was with those crowds?

I understand that Outside Lands has challenges that other festivals don’t. Coachella is in a massive expanse of desert so its producers can put anything wherever they want, whereas Outside Lands has to follow the contours of Golden Gate Park. That means things are never quite so ideal and even in the best of circumstances there can be bottlenecks.

This year, though? With what seemed like every ticket-holder showing up for every minute of every day of the festival? All logistics broke down. Lines immediately turned to chaos, walkways because impassable without notice, people were running into each other left and right. I even have bruises from collisions! And I’m huge! I’m basically a surlier version of Hagrid! It takes a lot to do damage!

Hopefully things go back to the unideal-but-not-catastrophic status quo in 2022, but hopefully the organizers make contingency plans if that doesn’t happen.

Best: Shoutout to Lee at the Twin Peaks stage ADA platform.

The ADA was one of my best in 2019, since it makes it possible for me to cover or even attend the show at all, but the law doesn’t require the people to be so cool. And my man Lee tops the list. Sitting on a platform covered in disabled symbols can be awkward but he made it a welcoming experience. He remembered people, chatted, joked and was always ready with a bottle of water.

And Lee may be the best but he’s not alone. Additional shoutouts to the other ADA volunteers, and especially the golf cart drivers ferrying people like me around on narrow paths, frigid air in their faces thanks to the lack of windshields. Whether you’re injured or you have a more permanent issue, they’re doing the work to let you be there and get the full experience.

Worst: Bacon Lands was gone!

The maps they handed out at the entrance did list a Bacon Lands in a new location across from Cheese Lands… or should I say “Cheese Land” since it’s one vendor stall that sells $30 charcuterie plates… but there was absolutely nothing there. Not even an empty booth. Just a big, depressing, bacon-free patch of grass.

Yes, other things were gone, too. For instance, the comedy tent, where I saw a talk by my personal hero Henry Rollins, was replaced by another dance music venue. But come on. They took my tasting flights of bacon away from me. Bacon I could have eaten!

At least now Outside Lands 2021 has drawn to a close, and tomorrow I can console myself with all the home-cooked bacon I want, while I try to figure out how black is too black for a toe.

Follow editor Daniel J. Willis at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.