REWIND: We need to talk about Aaron Rodgers
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Jake from State Farm, you deserved so much better than Aaron Rodgers.
Aaron Rodgers, man. It’s amazing how fast and efficiently that dude burned down his image and legacy.
If you missed the beginning of the story: Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, that guy who hangs out with Jake from State Farm on TV, caught COVID-19. He was widely seen as a decent (if eccentric) guy, so the initial reaction was concern, though since common perception was that he said he was vaccinated, it was assumed he’d be OK. Pretty standard 2021 stuff.
Soon it was announced that he was unvaccinated, and upon review in his preseason press conference, he actually said he was “immunized,” which is a worryingly stupid distinction. He had petitioned the NFL to make his “immunization” count as an actual vaccination which they rightfully denied. Shortly thereafter social media was inundated with photos and videos of Rodgers flagrantly breaking COVID-19 protocols for unvaccinated players with absolutely no consequences.
This was all bad. But then on Friday morning, he went on the Pat McAfee Show, a SiriusXM/YouTube sports talk radio show. It immediately got so, so much worse, then continued to decline for the longest hour in radio history.
I had another column outlined and largely written this morning, but then I started seeing quotes from Rodgers’ interview and I had to switch gears. It would be comedy gold if it wasn’t so horrifying and tragic and if it wouldn’t influence people to not get a free shot that could save their lives. So let’s go over five of the dozens upon dozens of highlights from the fiery destruction of an athlete’s reputation.
Lily Allen — “Fuck You”
This isn’t a quote, but we should address the big-picture situation here: Aaron Rodgers got a crazy homeopathic “immunization” treatment, supplemented it with horse paste and vitamins, and insisted it was a credible method to prevent COVID. It is not, so he got COVID. Then he went on the radio to spend an hour defending the failed preventative treatment.
Let’s set aside the fact that homeopathic medicine is premised on the theory that that a substance that causes symptoms in someone who’s healthy can be used, in diluted form, to treat a sick person. It’s very iffy and would be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard if there hadn’t been a rally this week of people convinced they were going to see John F. Kennedy, Jr. come back from the dead to be Donald Trump’s vice president, and point out the obvious: His “immunization” did not work. He caught COVID. He spent an embarrassingly long time going on and on about his research and berating the people who didn’t believe him, but they were right to not believe him because he caught COVID.
How did it not occur to Pat McAfee to bring this up?
The Doobie Brothers — “What a Fool Believes”
Aaron Rodgers began the interview thusly: “I realize I’m in the crosshairs of the woke mob right now so before my final nail gets put in my cancel culture casket, I’d like to set the record straight.”
There are so many problems here.
First, every single person who has unironically used the phrase “woke mob” outside a direct quote is an awful, insufferable human being. It’s an amazingly accurate test of someone’s quality! And it’s not even a stereotype, since stereotypes are based on intrinsic characteristics like race, national origin, or physical characteristics, and this is based on something they believe and choose to say in public.
Second, anyone who thinks “cancel culture” is anything but a derisive term for social consequences used by people who don’t want to suffer those consequences probably deserves to be shunned. It’s not a new concept! Jerry Lee Lewis was shunned by society for marring his 13-year-old cousin in 1957! Sometimes, when a person says or does something that others find especially bad, those other people no longer want to associate with them. If you want to avoid that, don’t be so bad people actively avoid you.
Third (spoiler alert), he never did set any records straight. The interview got worse from here.
Green Day — “American Idiot”
Here’s another Rodgers quote: “I’m not some sort of anti-vaxx flat-earther. I am somebody who’s a critical thinker.”
The entire interview was about why he was against vaccines, so, yeah, he’s anti-vaxx. That’s kinda the definition. It’s like when an awful person goes, “I’m not racist, but I have a problem with this specific race.” If you have to say it, odds are you’re lying by saying it.
As for the second part, the guy who believes in homeopathy thinks he’s a critical thinker.
Robb Johnson — “Moronland”
Here’s another good one: “I consulted with a now good friend of mine, Joe Rogan, after he got COVID, and I’ve been doing a lot of the stuff he recommended in his podcasts and on the phone to me.”
In arguably the dumbest era in American history, Joe Rogan is probably the dumbest person. We’re classy here, so I won’t mention that he looks like a human thumb that took too many steroids and that his stint on “The Man Show” was so bad that it made Adam Corolla look funny, I’ll get right to his podcast: He is Alex Jones.
Alex Jones, for those of you with a life, had a conspiracy theory radio show for ages. He was a notable crank, the guy on late night AM radio ranting about mind control rays and lizard people. Then Donald Trump went on his show and he went full-blown racist. Just astoundingly, brutally racist. Now he spends his time claiming Democrats are the actual, literal Satan.
Joe Rogan is not a socially acceptable Alex Jones. He’s not a poor man’s Alex Jones. He’s not like Alex Jones. They’re the same person but with different net worths. They’re both ignorant and destructive radio hosts who spout whatever nonsense pops into their heads, they both hurt countless people who believe their stupidity, and they both look like a middle-aged divorced dad that just got out of jail for multiple DUIs and mentions their high school football stats to strangers.
Aretha Franklin — “Chain of Fools”
I’m leaving a lot out here. Rodgers, for example, compared himself to Martin Luther King, Jr. He claimed vaccines cause sterility. He claimed that a league that has strict drug testing is using “collusion” to violate his bodily autonomy by requiring a life-saving vaccine. There’s a lot there. You should just Google it. The entire interview is crazy quotes.
What I want to point out with the last entry is that he has fans. Heck, I had been a fan of his since his days at Cal, until this morning. Even after he outed himself as a genuinely ignorant person, people still respect and trust him. So when he goes out there and confidently spews outright lies, he further cements the stances of unvaccinated people.
It’s bad enough that his raw verbal sewage will help to prolong this pandemic beyond the nearly two years it’s been going on, but those people who double down on their refusal to get vaccinated because he said it’s a plot by the drug companies to take your money even though it’s free? If they catch COVID-19, they’re far more likely to die. He is literally killing his fans to defend an “alternative” “immunization” “treatment” that objectively, provably did not work.
Aaron Rodgers is a bad person. He will go down in history not for his NFL accomplishments or his charity work but as being a bad person. When he becomes eligible for the Hall of Fame, nobody will discuss his stats or championships, they’ll discuss this interview and its implications about his character. Whatever his motivation was, I hope it was worth it.
* Gokhman note: Somewhat related: “Jeopardy” sure knows how to pick ’em, right? *
Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.