Dua Lipa performs at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco March 17, 2017. Gary Chancer/STAFF.

The worst part of getting your car stolen is the radio.

OK, that’s not true. The worst part is no longer having a car, followed by losing the sentimental and practical items that were in the car, including Christmas gifts. After that is dealing with the Oakland Police Department that made you stay up from 11:30 p.m. when you called to report the car stolen until 8:30 a.m. the next morning because they insisted that if you didn’t meet the officer whenever they showed up—no telling when that could be—they may treat it as a “decline to report,” which would have insurance implications. Oh, and the insurance! Also bad is dealing with your insurance company, who won’t try to call you for two weeks after you filed the claim.

But after all that is the radio.

See, I got totally spoiled by satellite radio. Lithium and Classic Vinyl are my jam. If I was in the mood, I’d scan through the ’70s through ’90s stations to see what was going on there. If it was a long drive, I’d see if there was a concert recording on the Grateful Dead Channel. Great stuff, highly recommend.

But now I’m borrowing my brother’s old car, which only has… sigh… terrestrial radio. And the station it was set to was Star 101.3. And since KFRC hasn’t been around in decades and Live 105 is named Dave for some reason, I haven’t really bothered to change it, despite famously disliking both modern music and pop music.

That said, I think I’m developing Stockholm Syndrome, because I’m finding a few of the 20 or so songs they play on an endless loop catchy. So, for the first time in Rewind history, here are some popular, relatively current songs I don’t totally hate. They’re not new to anyone but me.

Elton John featuring Dua Lipa — “Cold Heart”

I’m warning you right now, this is one of two on the list by Dua Lipa. Like I said, Star 101.3’s playlist is about 20 songs long; five each are by Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran, and a couple more are by someone named Lewis Capaldi, who’s apparently not the 12th Doctor’s son, and thus I find boring. So my options are limited.

Anyway, yeah, the chorus of this song is just “Rocket Man,” which is an old song I love, so I’m kinda cheating. But it’s catchier! I’m all about comfortable nostalgia mixed with a weird neo-disco beat. And the utterly bizarre video helps, too; even though I never saw it before I embedded it in this column.

The Weeknd — “Blinding Lights”

Because I have a strong personal brand, the first time I heard this one come on I went, “Oh hey, I remember this one from the Super Bowl.” Because despite promising songs from “the ’90s, 2000s and today,” they only play ’90s songs on weekends, so I didn’t recognize anything. Also, burn on the 2010s, because it’s 2022 so “today” skips an entire decade.

Anyway, this video by The Weeknd is not as endearingly surrealistic. This is one of those videos that’s trying really hard to be a movie and failing. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was an absolute milestone in music videos but it poisoned multiple generations with the idea that they could also pull it off. They can’t.

Whitney Houston — “Higher Love”

Oh yeah, it’s a cover. By Whitney Houston. But it counts as new because it just came out in 2019 before I totally failed to notice for multiple years.

Anyway, this is actually credited to Kygo, even though he neither wrote nor sung it. Producers are important, but let’s not set the precedent of giving them credit over, like, the writers and performers. Even if, like this song, the performer died seven years before the song was released.

But back to me: This came on and my thoughts were the following: “Hey, Steve Winwood!” “Wait, is this Whitney Houston?” “Who the heck is Kygo?” The answers were, yes, it is, and nobody knows. [Gokhman note: I’d say Willis is going way beyond his “brand” here. Also, here’s Willis writing about Kygo before. And her he is writing about Kygo a second time].

Dua Lipa — “Break My Heart”

Fun facts about Dua Lipa for those of us who are a million years old and never bothered to listen to any of her stuff: Her name is actually Dua Lipa, it’s not a stage name like Doja Cat or Lil Pump. She’s apparently British. [Gokhman note: If you’re new here, this is not a column for people who read a lot about music. But if you love fast cars and occasionally listen to music, you’re in the right place]. Despite being a model-turned-musician, she’s surprisingly good.

You should be noticing a theme so far: None of these sound particularly like modern music. That’s almost definitely why I like them. This one, for example, has an ’80s Euro-pop vibe but with a modern polish, which is a surprisingly good combination. She should just go full Kraftwerk next. [OK, another Gokhman note: I knew about Dua Lipa when she played her first Bay Area show, at the Great American Music Hall. She headlines SAP Center later this year].

Adele — “Oh My God”

This is, at best, the third-best Adele song. This is absolutely no “Hello” or “Rolling in the Deep.” But I don’t have a ton of options because the station mostly plays Ed Sheeran and Bieber and… ugh. There’s one Ed Sheeran song that’s kinda OK, but not enough that I’d subject you to it.

So there, to those of you who make fun of me for ignoring every artist from the 21st century other than Ghost. There are five modern-ish pop songs I like. See, I’m not completely ancient.

Now unless you have a new car with satellite radio I can have, get off my lawn.

Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.