David Lee Roth of Van Halen backstage at Cobo Arena in in Detroit during his “Eat ‘Em and Smile Tour” on Sept. 26, 1986. Photo by Ross Marino/Getty.

Look, you all know what’s happening. A draft decision leaked that would not just reverse Roe v. Wade but do so in a way that could roll back the federal legalization of everything from gay marriage to segregation. It’s not great. It’s not great at all.

Over the last seven or so years of pre- to mid-apocalyptic dystopia, I’ve written essays and calls to action when things like this happen and, honestly, this time I feel like everyone’s aware of the stakes and knows what they have to do. The world doesn’t need me to say the same things. So just read this piece by The Defector’s Kelsey McKinney and Laura Wagner. I’ll cosign that.

Instead, I’m gonna repeat a tactic I used in a certain week back in March 2020 and list five songs that always cheer me up. Yes, things are really bad and getting worse, but you’re no good to anyone if you snap, so it’s important to occasionally take a bit of time to relax and find sparks of joy as much as possible under the circumstances. These songs may help. They help me at least.

Andrew W.K. — “Party Hard”

Andrew W.K. is one of my favorite musicians and one of my favorite people. Though he tragically left social media, he was always open, thoughtful, and kind in the surprisingly frequent interviews I’ve done. But for the purposes of this column, the most important thing is that “Party Hard” is the perfect song.

Go ahead, find a single fault with “Party Hard.” You can’t. There’s absolutely nothing even slightly bad about it. It’s a wonderful three-and-a-half-minute cacophony of joy. It’s not my favorite song of all time, and it’s not necessarily the best song, but it’s still the perfect song. We should all use it as our alarm clock sound so we wake up on the right note.

Babymetal — “Oh! MAJINAI”

I unashamedly and unreservedly love Babymetal. I also love pirate metal. Babymetal did a pirate metal song—with Joakim Brodén from Sabaton, no less—so obviously it never fails to bring a smile to my face.

You, of course, may not like metal. You may not like pirates. But I challenge you to listen to this song and not cheer up, if for just a few seconds. It’s utterly bizarre and joyful in a way that only something accurately described as “pirate-themed kawaii metal” could be, and I for one need that.

Motley Crue — “Kickstart My Heart”

I still haven’t gotten the replacement for my poor, dearly departed Camaro (which was stolen and then gutted), but if I had a fast muscle car you better believe I’d be driving it at dangerous speeds while blaring this song to blow off some steam.

Seriously, I challenge you to drive the speed limit with this song playing. Try it! Because you can’t. You’ll try to steel yourself from its powers, then next thing you know you’re doing 90 down I-5, singing along to the chorus at the top of your lungs, and you may inexplicably have a mullet. Just lean into that feeling. Enjoy it.

Van Halen — “Hot For Teacher”

Let’s stick with the same era with a song for which you cannot help but feel better. Listen to it! It’s audio joy. And the video includes the members of Van Halen trying to dance! And failing at it!

Let the Van Halen of it all wash over you and cleanse you for a few wonderful minutes. Also, I’m assuming that’s actually what school was like in 1984.

Leo Moracchioli — “Feel Good Inc.”

When I did this at the start of the pandemic, I included the original Gorillaz version of “Feel Good Inc.” and what I said about that song applies. But what “king of the metal cover” Leo Moracchioli brings to the table is energy. The original song is chill. I absolutely need to chill more. But weeks like this, chilling may be a bit difficult.

When I’ve tried to calm down this week it hasn’t really worked. So instead, I’m leaning into the energy and aggression, just steering it in a slightly more cheerful direction. If you haven’t noticed that’s really the order of the day; cheerful aggression.

Soak it in, let it give the tension in your neck and shoulders a brief break, then you can get back to the angry aggression this situation calls for.

Follow editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column ideas to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.